Julia’s Blog

Single life :)

Well, I never thought I’d say it again, but life is great! Still friendly with the ex; we wanted it to be so and although I have my moments and end up like a screaming fishwife for a few minutes, in reality he doesn’t deserve it and I want us both to be happy. Think I have done that for the last time, actually, as am totally accepting and happy with our new lifestyles.

I now go out more than I ever have in the past! I have a good social network to draw on whenever I feel I want to; someone told me about meetup.com and I now go walking and talking, dining and drinking, listening to bands, bowling, and whatever else I choose to do, or choose to put on as an event. I love Rock Choir, singing our repertoire loudly in the car! I have a new car, actually; I love my bright blue Jazz (bought off a friend who mentioned in passing that she was thinking of replacing it with a new one – told her it was on my wishlist, and bought myself a real little bargain!  Serendipity!

I live with just the one softie beagle and two cats – the mad ADHD brown Jack Russel (flyball gal) and her blind friend Zak now live with their dad, and visit me from time to time! I love my early morning walks with Meadow, and what I had been worried about has turned into a pleasure as I enjoy the fresh, empty park with dew on the grass in the sunlight. I meet a couple of early walkers occasionally, and we cross the fields and make light conversation before starting our day at our various workplaces.

I have lost nearly a stone and a half, and now fit into new dresses! That is not through stress, but having joined FatFighters, or similar, I now have a healthier lifestyle without mansized portions, and more wine than I really needed, although it is still one of my guilty pleasures, along with a slab of dark chocolate in the evening.

I am enjoying being able to make changes to the house and garden, without seeking approval or having to negotiate – any mistakes made are of my own doing now! I can come home, slob in my PJs, drink wine, eat when I want and watch what I want… or go out and socialise!

Honestly? Happier than I’ve been in a long time! I wasn’t unhappy, I just didn’t know there were alternatives.. I am flying to South Africa sometime soon to meet new relatives, off to Spain in the summer with my family, and negotiating time to visit my cousin in USA in the autumn.  None of that would have been even imagined! Lonely? Do I sound lonely? I love meeting new people, and estimate I meet a new person every week, some of whom I will see much more of in the future. At my summer party this year there will be new friends who have never visited my home, and I am very positive and so grateful about my life.

So, if you find yourself, as I did a year ago, in the unhappy position of finding yourself newly single, believe me there is life out there. It may not have been the one you had carved out for yourself, but that’s OK. Because as long as you’re honest and let people know when you need a hug and support, whether that’s a cuppa or a bottle of wine and a shoulder to cry on, they will be there for you when you want to dance and sing and laugh as well, which you will want to do with them someday… sooner than you may think

 

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